About me and why I now know what performance nerves are

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Let me introduce myself

Entering into a MA online is as exciting as it is daunting to me.
Having to throw yourself open to critique and bare all in online work, fills me with serious performance nerves.
In my performance days, friends and family always asked me if I was nervous about performing. I always replied no and wasnt really sure what the nervous feeling was in regards to being on stage.

The group I performed for the main part of my career was a group born in Istanbul Turkey called Sultans of the Dance. The Show took the best part of 18 months to create, rehearse and get necessary funding. When we started, we planned to perform a long weekend of concerts in Istanbul only. However its success was phenomenal and we would go on to run in Istanbul for 3 months before performing in the Antique Amphitheatres in Antalya and Ephesus Izmir.
Performing in a Historic open air Amphitheatre, must have been the most emotional I have ever felt on stage, the rush and feeling the thrill that this stage with built in acoustics had housed performances before electricity was invented really electrified me!! ( corny I know )

I was lucky enough to tour worlwide with the Show for 7 years, performing in venues from the Munich Olympian Stadium to Tienanmen Square, Beijing. And not once did I feel nervous or worried if I would make a mistake or I wouldnt be interesting enough or creative enough or current enough.

I have never been a fan of speaking in public and had great trouble in being heard when I first starting teaching some 11 years ago. My mentor told me I had an incredible gift for teaching, but was likely to fail as no one would ever hear what I had to say!!

My friends on the teaching course stayed with me till 2 am in the studio getting me riled up and helping me to find my voice with added volüme. Some few years on to now and I absolutely love teaching and it is hard to stop me talking in class.
I teach in a Private School in Istanbul Turkey. I teach students from age 5 through to senior year in High School.

George Siemens talks about writing in online communities in his book Knowing Knowledge that people fear the fact that all their mistakes, grammar and punctuation errors are there to be found into the unforseeable future, due to online search engines that can drag our past up to haunt us. He goes onto say he found writing in online communities as an encouraging and important learning process.  
I myself have needed some persuading to get into online writing and learning to share, but I know this course will help me do that, I just needed a big nudge.
Looking forward to working with you all and reading what you are all working on and how you got to be here.

Linda

Comments

  1. Hi Linda - thank you for sharing your story. What lovely friends you have to stay up with you and help you find your voice :)

    I too sometimes feel a little icky blogging, I always worry I'm going to say something wrong and everyone will disagree and never go on my blog again or something silly like that. But actually I've found everyone I've spoke to so far to be super supportive and caring towards each other!

    I have tried to not worry about making mistakes online through this mantra - 'we are continually learning', so if we make a mistake on a blog, its just part of the learning, it is not that we are wrong, we are just adding a new dimension to our knowledge :)

    How are you getting on with the AOL essays? x

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    Replies
    1. Hi Chrissie, sorry for the terribly late reply :(
      Every time I start studying recently, I seem to start somewhere, with a plan of what I will read, write and plan to do that day, and somehow it takes me on a new learning journey!
      Through other blogs, other articles, research and then filling up my reflective journal. with more things to do, authors to research, points of view.
      Whilst this is great and I'm finding out so much, I am concerned if I am really answering the questions or rather on the right path. Since there is no one right answer, but more questions, then I can definitely say I am asking more and more and more questions about my learning, how I got here, what did I take from it , did / does it affect my practice and teaching and learning style.
      Aols I thought I was on the right path until my 1:1 with Maria and after listening to what she had to say, I am hopefully identifying my learning now.
      A journey that we are continually learning on. Just when you think you are onto something, you start to see it in a different light. As you said '' just adding a new dimension to our learning'' :)
      How are your AOLs coming ? Have you finalized them all ?
      Lots of love and best wishes L x

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